here is a list
Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island.
What do you call 26 letters that went for a swim? Alphawetical.
What’s the name of a very polite, European body of water? Merci.
Why was the color green notoriously single? It was always so jaded.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
I want to make a brief joke, but it’s a little cheesy.
Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.
What did the flowers do when the bride walked down the aisle? They rose.
It takes guts to be an organ donor.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What does "Rockin' Robin" do when she's bored? Tweet.
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Why did Waldo go to therapy? Because he needed to find himself.
How do you row a canoe filled with puppies? Bring out the doggy paddle.
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
Why were the utensils stuck together? They were spooning.
What's a crafty dancer's favorite hobby? Cutting a rug.
How does a penguin build his house? Igloos it together.
What kind of music do chiropractors like? Hip pop.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? At sundae school.
What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.
Why is cold water so insecure? Because it’s never called hot.
Why did the pony ask for a glass of water? Because it was a little horse.
What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1
I tell dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids. I’m a faux pa.
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business.
How can you mend a broken pumpkin? Use a pumpkin patch.
If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Why do dads feel the need to tell such bad jokes? They just want to help you become a groan up.
I know a lot of jokes about retired people, but none of them work.
Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything on the web.
What do you call spiders who just got married? Newly-webs.
RIP boiled water—you will be mist.
What do you call two octopuses that look the same? Itenticle.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A bed.
Sore throats are a pain in the neck.
What does a house wear? Address.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was out standing in his field.
What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit? Straw-berries.
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
My son asked me to put his shoes on, but I don’t think they’ll fit me.
I’ve been bored recently, so I decided to take up fencing. The neighbors keep demanding that I put it back.
How do you know when a chicken is evil? It lays deviled eggs.
What do you call an unpredictable camera? A loose Canon.
I didn’t get a haircut, I got them all cut.
Which U.S. state is known for its especially small soft drinks? Minnesota.
What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing—they fast.
What did one Dorito farmer say to the other? “Cool Ranch!”
How do cows shop? From cattle-logs.
I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
People are usually shocked that I have a Police record. But I love their greatest hits!
I told my girlfriend she drew on her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
What do you call a fibbing cat? A lion.
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
I like telling Dad jokes...sometimes he laughs.
How do you weigh a millennial? In Instagrams.
The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.
What’s the most patriotic sport? Flag football.
Why were spectators confused by the koala's self-portrait? It was bear.
Why did the envelope take so long to get ready? It had to get addressed.
What does a karate master get rewarded with while driving? A seat belt.
What do you call a baby sheep that knows karate? A lamb chop.
What did the husband say to his wife right after getting LASIK surgery? "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"
Why are pigs bad drivers? Because they hog the road.
What do lions use to look at their manes? Mirroars.
What did the dad say when his golden retriever was caught eating a hot dog? "It's a dog eat dog world out there."
Do mascara and lipstick ever argue? Sure, but then they makeup.
What piece on the playground is always exhausted? The tire swing.
Why did two tall people get along so well? They could really see eye to eye.
Why was the gossip disliked at the coffee shop? She always spilled the tea.
the point is to share good jokes ,not copy paste and spam
What has only one foot?
A leg.
@Oportunist said in #36:
> the point is to share good jokes ,not copy paste and spam
Yes, its true
Son: I want to go to school in our Mercedes
Dad: You know when Abraham Lincon was your age he used to walk 10 miles to school
Son: Dad you know When he was your age he became the President of USA
Dad: *Shocked*
A group of scientists discovered an apelike creature in the jungle, which they hoped would prove to be the missing link. The proof of their theory, however, required that a human mate with the animal so that they could see what characteristics the offspring would assume. Needing volunteers, the scientists placed an ad in the paper: "$5000 to mate with ape."
Almost immediately, they received response from a man who said he would be willing to take part in the experiment, with three conditions.
"First," he said, "my wife must never know. Second, any children must be baptized. And, third, I'd have to pay in installments."
I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park.
It's just really hard to find thirty two of them willing to do it .
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